Remember Everything
by aquastar89
Summary: He felt like he was dying; slowly, painfully and the saddest part was, he loved her more and more everyday.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my second attempt at writing fanfiction. I deleted my first story on here because I couldn't quite get it where I wanted it. I know what I am doing with this one, so I am going to see it through. It will only be a couple of chapter's. I am not sure how many yet. I don't want to attempt some crazy long story. I think that is where I went wrong the first time. I was too ambitious, I see that now. Anywho this went on too long. I hope you like this story and please review and let me know what you think. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, if I did TVD would be very different. **

**I also don't have a beta, so any mistakes are my own. I tried to fix everything as best I could.**

**Remember Everything**

**6 months ago.**

_Damon was still trying to wrap his head around what had happened. He and Bonnie had gotten into a fight, it wasn't their first by any means, but it was definitely the worst so far. Bonnie had caught him so off guard with her outburst, he had actually stood speechless for a few minutes unable to comprehend what was happening. His eyes were as wide as saucers while she went on and on about how he was still in love with Elena. That accusation had hit him like a ton of bricks and it was just what he needed to finally free him of his temporary paralysis. He had asked her what in the hell she was talking about and she said she had seen the way he looked at Elena today, which just had him even more confused because when they had seen his happily married brother and wife of five years he had barely spared Elena a couple of glances and a few friendly words and he said as much. Bonnie however wasn't hearing it and said she knew what she saw and it was pointless for him to try and deny it._

_Damon would freely admit that he had once foolishly thought he was in love with his brothers then girlfriend, but after he pulled his head out of his ass and saw Bonnie for the beautiful, amazing and powerful woman that she was, he realized how stupid he had been. He now knew that the love he thought he held for Elena was pure jealousy, wanting what he couldn't have. He just couldn't understand what was so special about Stefan and why every girl seemed to want him. First Katherine, whom he spent the better part of his early years as a vampire trying to free from some stupid tomb because he loved her and he thought she loved him, then there was Katherine's doppelganger Elena, whom was really just the sweeter, kinder and all around better version of Katherine. He still loved Elena, just not any where near how he thought he once had. Now he loved her like the sister she was._

_It had taken falling in love with Bonnie to teach him what real love was. It was no easy feat either; he fought his feelings for her hard and for a long time. When he finally swallowed his pride and admitted how he felt about her, it was the best thing he had ever done. She was his saving grace, the love of his very long and lonely life. He knew that everything he had done prier to falling in love with her had ultimately led him to her and for that reason he would do it all over again without a second thought._

_That being said he still had_ _no ____idea what in the hell was wrong with his little witch. He asked her as much and she went off the deep end, saying the most ridiculous things about how he would never love her the way he loved Elena. He had been so close to bursting out into laughter when she said that, but he liked his new black leather jacket and wanted to keep it in one piece, so he reined his laughter in and kept his face neutral. He had gotten angry though when she wouldn't let up and started screaming and yelling at him for something he did not do or feel. He started yelling back about how she was acting like a five year old child and needed to grow the fuck up. He didn't know what she was talking about and he was tired of her accusations._

_When she screamed at him saying she knew that he would eventually cheat on her with Elena, he had lost it. One he felt he needed to defend Elena a little bit since she couldn't defend herself and told Bonnie that Elena was very happily married to Stefan and would never do that to him and two that he was madly in love with her and wouldn't dream of ever being with another woman. Which was the truth, he loved Bonnie unconditionally and he never even thought about being with anyone else. She had ruined him for other women, if he couldn't have Bonnie he would probably just stake himself because he knew he would never be able to live eternity without her._

_All she had heard though was him standing up for Elena-of course. She screamed at him some more, he watched as the lights in the house flickered and the fire roared beside him and then she was out the door, slamming it behind her. He thought if she had been a vampire she would have taken it off the hinges. He had shook his head growling to himself and decided he needed a drink, which is how he ended up at the Mystic Grille milking his alcoholic beverage that wasn't nearly strong enough, wondering what in the world had caused the fight he couldn't believe they had over something he most certainly did not do. He knew he was an asshole-being with Bonnie had only altered that slightly-and he knew he did a lot of things that could warrant severe punishment, but being in love with Elena wasn't one of them because he wasn't in fucking love with Elena Gotdamnit._

_He sighed heavily, he knew as much as he really didn't want to he had to go home and pray to God or whoever that she was willing to sit down and talk about what was really going on with her without her trying to set him on fire and without him trying to strangle her. Not that he would though, he would never dream of hurting Bonnie, but she was sure as hell pushing his limits to the breaking point earlier. Sighing again he laid the money down for his drinks and walked solemnly out of the Grille heading to their house. He didn't drive to the Grille because he needed to get that drink fast and his vampire speed got him everywhere faster, but now he was wishing he had drove because he wasn't in that big of a hurry to face his beautiful ball of fury, but he didn't really want to walk all the way home. His car would have provided the perfect amount of time required to calm his nerves, but that's just the way his day had been so-why not?_

_He rolled his eyes and decided he would walk half way and then zip the rest of the way. That would work out nicely and it did. He had plenty of time to clear his mind and prepare himself for what was to come. He knew she wasn't home because her car was not there and he breathed a sigh of relief his body didn't need, but his mind required. At least he had a little more time to his self. He opened the door that was always unlocked- when you were a badass vampire and a powerful witch there really wasn't much to be afraid of-and walked inside, reality of the earlier argument hitting him square in the face._

_Their house was a mess. He supposed he was just so use to her using her powers he doesn't even really notice when she does it any more. The windows he just had put in are broken, his favorite recliner that he and Bonnie use to cuddle in is in pieces, and pictures of the two of them lay face down on the floor. If he walked through the house he knew every room would look similar to the living room he was in now, he decided one disaster was enough for now and this time when he sighs, it is not one of relief._

_He took a seat on the couch-it was the only thing that was still in one piece- and tried to rack his brain and figure out what in the hell was going on with Bonnie. He knew she had a temper, but this was beyond anything he had ever seen. This outburst made what she did to Klaus look like child's play. He came up with nothing. He knew this couldn't really be about Elena because she and Elena were best friends. Bonnie loved her like a sister and she knew Elena would never do anything to hurt her. He knew that even though he never gave Bonnie a reason to not trust him- at least not since they had been together-She knew she could trust Elena._

_He was also one-hundred percent sure Bonnie knew that he didn't have any feelings for Elena because he always showered Bonnie with love and affection. He was still a bad-ass of course, he had a reputation to protect, but he was Bonnie's bad-ass._

_The very moment he decided he was going to go find his little witch and shake her until she told him what was really going on, he heard her car pull in the drive way. He could already smell her __and she wasn't even in the house yet. He always loved how Bonnie smelled; like jasmine and vanilla. This time when he caught her scent, he smelled something that didn't belong. He knew this smell, he had smelled it before but he couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it smelled wrong; very wrong._

_Bonnie was opening the door when he finally recognized the foreign scent; the scent that didn't belong anywhere near his Bonnie, let alone all over her. He could barely contain his rage. He knew he had to because he loved her and he didn't ever want to hurt her, but this was too much. He couldn't bear to think about it. He didn't ____want__ to think about it. He didn't want to think about why in the fucking hell his Bonnie… his judgey, the most self-righteous person he had ever fucking met in his very long fucking life smelled like a were-wolf, but not just any were-wolf-as if smelling like a fucking were-wolf wasn't bad enough- she smelled like the fucking were-wolf he fucking hated almost as much as he hated Klaus. His Bonnie smelled like Tyler fucking Lockwood. _

_He couldn't believe it; he didn't want to believe it. This wasn't happening; this couldn't be happening. He loved her more than anything. She was his world and he had thought that he was hers. He had apparently thought wrong. How could he have been so wrong?_

_When she walked through the door into the living room and their eyes locked onto one another's he could tell that she knew. He could see it in her eyes, the guilt, the heartbreak she felt was so strong he could swear he could smell it on her. He could only imagine what she was seeing in his eyes, it was definitely somewhere along the lines of barely contained rage and disgust and the deepest gut-wrenching sorrow anyone could possibly feel._

_He was waiting for something to happen, he didn't know what, and he couldn't even begin to imagine what could be done to remedy this situation. Something had to happen though, anything to break this moment, this most awful, earth-shattering, heartbreaking moment. Damon had done many horrible things, unforgivable things and had been in situations most people wouldn't survive without being locked up in a padded cell afterwards, but none of that compared to this. He would rather have been staked a hundred times than have to be here right now, with her, learning this about her, his Bonnie._

_She must have decided she should be the one to break the silence, seeing as how she was the one who had been unfaithful. Unfaithful; that had to be the most disgusting word he had ever heard. Just thinking about that word made him want to vomit. The words she chose sounded so ridiculous considering the circumstances. She must have thought they might fix everything; they might erase everything that the last few minutes had uncovered._

_She couldn't have been more wrong, all they accomplished was to piss him off. She looked right at him, right into his eyes, like she was trying to see through to his soul, even though he hadn't __had one for over a hundred years. With tears in her eyes and make-up running down her face she said three little words. Three words that were seemingly suppose to fix everything. She stared right into his eyes and said three words; she said "I'm sorry Damon."_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Here is the 2nd Chapter. I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

Present day

" _I'm sorry Damon."_

Damon had heard those words re-playing over in his head for the past 6 months. They were on a constant loop, like a broken record, taunting him, laughing at him. They weren't only in his head either. He had been bombarded with I'm sorry Damon's from every person imaginable in every variation anyone could possibly think of.

Elena: "Oh Damon, I'm so sorry."

Stefan: "I'm really sorry Damon."

Caroline: "I'm so sorry Damon."

Jeremy: "Tough break man."

He had taken it all in stride until Jeremy opened his stupid fucking mouth. Damon got to add another notch to the -how many times I have snapped Elena's little brothers neck tally- but who was counting. He hadn't felt bad for it either. Elena was none too happy, but he couldn't bring himself to really give a crap. The way he seen it was the little shit should have kept his opinions to himself. The farther he stays away from the topic of Bonnie, the less likely he will be to have to put his neck back on his shoulders.

None of it really mattered anyway. Life at the moment could not get any worse and Damon knew that you weren't suppose to say things like that because then they usually do, but at the moment he figured the only way his life could get any worse would be if the zombie apocalypse started and the world literally came to an end. Then again, that would just put him out of his misery so he might actually be okay with the world ending. He wondered who he knew that could bring someone back from the dead and turn them into a flesh eating zombie.

"Damon…"

He could think of one person, but he didn't want to go that route seeing as how she was the whole reason he was even considering all this crap to begin with.

"Damon, are you listening to me?"

He could only imagine how that conversation would go. "Hey Bonnie, I haven't spoken to you in awhile since that whole you cheating on me fiasco, but I was just wondering if you would be willing to raise the dead for me and turn them into…"

"Damon! Snap out of it!"

Shit.

"Jesus Christ Elena, do you have to scream like that?" He asked slightly annoyed.

He had been staying back at the Boarding house since he left Bonnie after he found about her and Tyler. He told her she could have the house. He didn't want to stay in a place where everything around him reminded him of her. Granted the Boarding house wasn't much better, but their home would have been a constant reminder of how good his life had finally been or at least how good he thought it had been.

With her hands on her hips she asked, "You haven't been paying the least bit of attention to a word I've said have you?"

"No," he replied irritated. "Contrary to popular belief, my whole world does not revolve around you and what is coming out of your mouth."

"Damon, there's no need to be nasty. I was just trying to have a conversation with you, that's all. Excuse the hell out of me."

"Look…," he said with a sigh. "I'm sorry. I'm just not in a very talkative mood right now."

"Yeah I get that," she said like it was obvious. "What were you thinking about anyway?"

"Oh, you know the usual. The zombie apocalypse. The end of the world. The woman that ripped my heart out with her tiny little hands, shattered it into a million pieces then blew it back in my face. Things like that," he said only half joking.

"Oh Damon," she started. "I'm so…"

"Don't Elena," he interrupted. "I can't take another I'm sorry Damon. I have heard enough of those to last me a hundred more lifetimes. As a matter of fact, if I never hear I'm sorry Damon again it will be too soon."

"You know you could always try and talk to her. You haven't spoken to her in awhile. It might be good for you."

He couldn't handle this again. Elena was always trying to get him to speak to Bonnie. She thought if he talked to Bonnie then they might be able to work things out. He might be able to forgive her. Forgive her for what exactly, cheating on him, lying to him, accusing him of doing everything thing she was guilty of herself? He didn't see any of those things as forgivable.

Granted, he knew he was the poster boy for doing things that humanity as a whole deemed unforgivable, but he had changed. He wasn't the same man he used to be and he knew that he had to give Elena the credit for putting him on the right track. Ultimately though, it had been Bonnie, judgey, his little witch who had kicked him in the ass and told him to grow the fuck up.

Then somewhere in the middle of all of her judging the shit out of his every move and giving him aneurisms that could bring the devil to his knees, he had fallen in love with her. He found it hard to believe that there was a time where whenever he looked into those beautiful emeralds she called her eyes it was all he could do to keep from shoving her up against the nearest wall and showing her how much he worshipped her.

Now anytime they happened to cross each other's paths it was all he could do to not look her in the eyes. He didn't want to; he couldn't because looking into those eyes meant everything he was trying to stay away from. It meant remembering all the good times, how much he had and always would love her unconditionally. It meant accepting what she had done and forgiving her for her indiscretion and then there was forgetting, forgetting how she had betrayed him. He knew that would be the hardest one, he also knew that forgetting wasn't possible but he knew if he looked into those beautiful eyes he wouldn't care anymore. He would eventually move on so they could be happy again. So _he_ could be happy again and then he would pull her into his arms and kiss her so hard her mouth would bruise.

That's why he didn't want to think about her, he didn't want to see her, he didn't want to speak to her, hell he didn't even want to be in the same town as her, but he couldn't bring himself to leave Mystic Falls. Everything he knew was here, he finally had a semi-good relationship with his brother and he didn't want to lose that, plus he figured somewhere buried deep, deep down in the depths of his soul he wanted things to work out with him and Bonnie. However, he didn't feel like dwelling on those thoughts.

"Damon, you keep this up I might feel slightly insulted," she said teasingly.

She sounded insulted, but he knew she wasn't even a little upset. She had been his saving grace these past few months. He knew it couldn't be easy for her either because even though she was there for Damon, she was also still very much Bonnies best friend. He would never ask her to choose either, he knew she loved Bonnie and no matter what Bonnie did to him, he loved her to much to try and take her best friend from her.

So to keep the peace she always just tried to stay away from certain touchy subjects when speaking to either of them and he loved her for it. Damon knew she was kind of fed up with all the drama now though because she had been not so subtlety dropping an "I spoke to Bonnie today" here or a "Bonnie misses you" there. She wanted him to think about Bonnie so he would want to speak to Bonnie, but he definitely wasn't ready for that.

"Damon will you please just talk to me?" She pleaded.

"What do you want me to say Elena?"

"I don't know Damon. At this point I am open to anything. Hell we could talk about the weather if it will get you to open your mouth."

"Fine, how is the weather today?" He replied sarcastically.

"A little less sarcasm would do nicely thank you and for your information it is beautiful out, but you would know that if you stepped outside every once in awhile."

"Yeah well why would I go outside, when everything I need is in here?" He said, sloshing around the dark liquid in his glass to get his point across.

"Damon I don't think the alcohol in your hand counts as everything you need," she said sincerely. "But that's just my opinion. Who cares what I think."

"I do care what you think," he said honestly. "But right now what I think takes precedent and I think this Bourbon is exactly what I need at the moment."

After he said that Elena rolled her eyes and scoffed. Now that she had his attention though, he noticed something off about her. There was something in the way she was standing; the way she was alternating her hands on her hips and which leg she would put her weight on. He became acutely aware of how she was chewing on her lips so hard she was close to drawing blood.

"Elena? Is everything alright?" He asked. "You seem a little on edge."

"Huh? Oh uh nothing, ha-ha what makes you think there is something wrong?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe it has something to do with the fact that you're about to chew your lips off. What's going on? Is there something I should know?"

"Ummm no," she answered fidgeting. "Nope can't think of anything."

She was lying. She was lying so hard he could see the beads of sweat forming on her forehead.

"Why are you lying?" He asked, the hum.

"I'm not lying," she said non convincingly. "What makes you think I am lying?"

"Elena…I'm a vampire. I can sense these kinds of things. Now tell me what the hell is going on...Now!"

She was beginning to make him angry. He didn't know what the hell she was up to, but whatever it was, it must not be very good. The last time she had seen fit to lie to him was a month or two after him and Bonnie broke up. She had set them up so they would run into one another _accidently _of course_, _yeah and he was the Virgin Mary. Damon had been so pissed when he found out what was going on. Bonnie for her part looked to be just as surprised as he was, but that hadn't stopped her from trying to talk to him.

_5 months ago_

_Damon was walking down the street on his way to the Mystic Grille. He didn't want to go, but Elena had insisted that he needed to get out of the house and re-enter the world of the living. He had promptly reminded her that he wasn't technically alive. She just rolled her eyes and told him that he was going to take his ass to the Mystic Grille because everyone was going to be there and he needed to be with his friends, with the exception of one in particular, instead of moping around in the Boarding House for the rest of eternity._

_He tried to put up a fight, but ultimately lost seeing as how he was currently walking into the Mystic Grille for the first time in over a month. He did a quick scan of the place before he a) found the people he was looking for and b) didn't find the one person he was avoiding. After he deemed it safe, he dramatically sauntered over to the table containing the group of his so-called friends. With the exception of Stefan and Elena, he couldn't give a crap about any of these people._

"_Hey Damon. Have a seat. Jeremy move over so Damon can sit down," Elena ordered._

"_Yeah, yeah alright," Jeremy said clearly unhappy about it. "I'm moving."_

_Damon sat down and gave everyone the appropriate greeting. He could tell they were all nervous about something. He figured it had to do with him and his feelings, blah, blah, blah. He played his part and was his usual cocky, self-assured, arrogant self. He pretended to listen to the conversation going on around him and made the appropriate comment when it was needed. _

_He wasn't sure how long he had been there, a half hour maybe, when he discovered something was off. He could hear everyone's heart rate become more rapid, he could smell the sweat cumulating on their hands, he could hear the breath intakes become a little sharper. What the hell was going on?_

"_What the hell is wrong with you guys?"_

_Nobody answered him; they were all staring off in different directions, looking every bit like the cat that ate the canary. He suddenly got this feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knew what this was; he couldn't do this right now. He had to get out of here and fast. _

"_I'm leaving, but before I go I just want to say _fuck _each and every one of you!"_

_Elena was the only one to speak up. He figured this was all her doing. She had pushed him awful hard to come here today._

"_Damon, it's not what you think. I just figured…"_

"_Figured what Elena? That you were going to set us up and we were going to talk things out and everything was going to be hunky-fucking-dory? Well you were wrong Elena, so _fucking_ wrong. This…my life, is none of your business, so just stay the fuck out of it!"_

"_Damon! Calm down man, she was just trying to help."_

"_I'm not going to calm down Stefan! None of you had any right to pull this shit. I'm leaving, stay the fuck out of my business!"_

"_Damon, wait!"_

_He wasn't going to wait. He wasn't going to say another word to any of them because he had to get out of here. He shoved his chair back so fast it hit the floor with a very loud bang. He didn't bother picking it up though, he could give a crap about that chair or the people he was leaving behind. He turned around to make a beeline for the door, when he smashed into something… hard. Well, what he smashed into wasn't hard, she wasn't hard at all. She was all soft curves and lush lips. She was everything a man could possibly want to have pressed up against him. As long as that man's name wasn't Damon Salvatore. _

_He had his hands around her waist before he knew what he was doing. He chalked it up to pure instinct, animalistic in nature due to all the times in the past when he had to think on his feet every time she was about to eat the pavement. He had always loved how clumsy she was, because it gave him an excellent excuse to grip her tight and pull her flush against him. Those were the moments he cherished the most, beautiful moments that always led to something far more beautiful, but this was not one of those moments. _

_This wasn't going to lead to one of those beautiful moments they use to share. Moments where he would grab her by her thighs and pick her up and move them over to the closest wall or counter top, where she would instinctively wrap her magnificent legs around his ever waiting torso. Moments where they would be all over one another, their hands frantically touching every inch of available skin, until they couldn't take it anymore and started ripping off each other's clothes. Their mouths would be on fire and he would have to remember that she actually needed to breathe, their tongues waging a never-ending war inside each other's mouths, all leading up to that final moment when they would come together as one. A perfectly sculpted masterpiece of flesh on flesh, moving in perfect harmony until the both of them found their sweet release. No….this wasn't going to be one of those moments._

_He had to force himself to let her go. It took every ounce of will power he had in him to release the grip he had on her waist and even then he found himself squeezing her tiny waist one last time before he finally pried his fingers off of her. She was looking at him, staring at him with those eyes, those beautiful emerald orbs that never failed to get her exactly what she wanted and _this_...is _exactly_ what he_ didn't_ want to happen. How could he walk away from her now? How could he even entertain the thought of brushing her off and walking out the door? _

"_Hello Damon," said Bonnie anxiously. Oh god, that voice, that fucking beautiful voice…as smooth as butter and as rich as honey. What the hell was he going to do?_

"_Hello Bonnie."_

_Alright, he spoke and that's all she was getting out of him. He did the nice thing, he acknowledged her and now he was leaving. He started to walk around her, but she grabbed him by the arm before he could make it too far. He sighed deeply, very deeply he might add, his eyes rolled so far back into his head he thought they might be stuck there. He did not need this right now… or ever for that matter._

"_Damon, can…can we please talk?"_

_What the fuck did she want to talk about? What was there to talk about? He didn't have a clue as to what she thought she could say to rectify this situation. He knew there wasn't a damn thing in the world that she could say to change anything. What's done is done and that was that._

"_Bonnie, what the hell is there to talk about?" He asked angrily._

"_Damon I know you are upset…," she started._

"_Upset…Upset?" He couldn't help but laugh a little bit. "Bonnie, upset doesn't even begin to cover it. You fucked Tyler Lockwood and you think I am upset!?" _

"_I know okay. I know what I did was wrong and I'm sorry," she said on the verge of tears. "I am so, so very sorry Damon."_

_There were those fucking words again. He was done, he couldn't handle this anymore. He threw his hands in the air and started walking away. This time she let him walk past her, he still didn't make it very far though._

"_You never even asked me why I did it!" She said raising her voice so he could hear her while he was walking away. She succeeded because he had heard her and what she said stopped him dead in his tracks. Was she joking right now? She had to be joking right now. That was the only thing he could think, because why would he give a fuck why she had done what she did? He turned around and slowly made his way over to her._

"_Please forgive me, but why in the hell does it matter?" He asked slowly, enunciating every word. "You cheated on me Bonnie! I don't care why and I don't care how, all I know and all that matters is that _**you**_ cheated on _**me**_!"_

_He was standing right in front of her now. Their faces were mere inches apart and he was barely containing his anger. She was crying and he hated it when she cried and she knew that. He didn't know if she was crying for points or crying for real. He did know that in this moment, he didn't give a shit. He wanted her to cry. He wanted her to feel just a tiny little spec of the pain he had been feeling for the past month. It actually made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside knowing that her heart might be breaking, even if it was just a fraction of the amount that she had broken his._

"_I know I cheated on you Damon!" She said loudly. "I had front row seats to the event, so if anyone knows…I do. That still doesn't change the fact that maybe there was a reason for it."_

_So this was a twist he didn't see coming. He wasn't going to lie and it wasn't some big secret that his track record with women left something to be desired. However, he was also man enough to admit that he never had a good reason to hurt someone. He might have spun it in a way that made it seem like what he was doing was for the greater good, but at the end of the day he knew that his actions benefited him and whatever his agenda may have been at the time. So he also knew that whatever reason she thought she had that was a good enough reason to break his heart could still only be purely selfish. _

_They had officially drawn the attention of everyone in the Mystic Grille. He could hear the hushed voices and the whispered conversations, all of them on the edge of their seats waiting for the other shoe to drop. He could see Elena and Stefan working their way through the crowds that had gathered. Caroline and Jeremy were hot on their heels. Everyone was watching and waiting, wondering what was going to happen next. He zeroed in on the most obvious whispered conversation going on in the room. _

"_Did she ever tell you why she cheated Elena?" Stefan asked curiously._

"_No," she answered. "She never told me. Caroline?"_

"_Nope, I asked her, but she always just said she didn't want to talk about it and then I never asked her again."_

"_She told me," Jeremy said without hesitation._

_Damon felt like everything was moving in slow motion. He watched as the world erupted around him. He watched as eyes went wide and mouths flew open. The time honored tradition of the game telephone was transpiring right before his very eyes. He could only imagine what the last person to know would hear. Everybody was staring at somebody. Those who weren't staring at Jeremy were staring at him or Bonnie._

"_What?" Asked Stefan._

"_She told you?" Elena asked clearly surprised._

"_Why would she tell you?" Caroline asked with astonishment. _

_Damon's thoughts exactly, Jeremy for his part didn't seem to be at all phased by the rapid-fire questioning he was being attacked with. Damon did notice however, that Jeremy was looking at someone. He already knew who it was, but somehow still felt the need to torture himself by following his gaze to the one person he hoped wouldn't be looking back at him. She was however, looking right back at him, locked in some unspoken battle with one of the people he hated most in the world._

_Damon felt sick; if he had needed to breathe he knew he would find it very difficult at this point. Was this happening? How could this be happening? How could she tell Jeremy? Five seconds ago he didn't even care why she had cheated on him, now all he could think was that no matter what her reasoning was, the first and only person she told was Jeremy. _

_He figured he could have been the first one if he had stuck around long enough after he found out, but at that time he just couldn't be around her any longer and he high tailed it out of there quicker than shit. He figured if she had told anyone it would have been Elena and/or Caroline. Hell even Stefan for that matter, but never Jeremy. She knew how he felt about Jeremy and as far as he knew, she and Jeremy weren't even close anymore. So why on earth would she tell Jeremy of all people? _

_He couldn't handle this anymore. He couldn't be here. He had heard enough of this crap to last him a very long time. At this point Bonnie had finally brought her gaze back to rest on him. She was looking him right in the eyes and he knew she could tell what he was thinking. Her eyes got as wide as saucers and she started rapidly shaking her head. He could see her mouth open to say something, but before any words could come out he turned around and without caring who saw he used his vampire speed to get him the hell out of dodge. In the very last seconds before he was out of earshot he could hear her yelling his name. She was obviously yelling at the top of her lungs if he could hear her. It didn't make the slightest difference to him though because he wasn't going to stop. This time he was turning his back on her for good._


	3. Chapter 3

So here is the next chapter. I'm sorry it took so long; a lot and I mean a lot of thought went into this chapter. This is my first attempt at this and I hope you guys enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Present Day

Damon slammed his glass down on the table next to him and started walking away from Elena. "I'm leaving," Damon said harshly.

Elena was fast on his heels. "Damon please, don't go," She pleaded

He turned around quickly and had to stop short to keep from bumping into her. "Elena, I can't okay. I know you mean well and I don't expect you to understand, but I just can't," he said hanging his head low, defeated.

"Damon I do understand." she said quietly. "I know you're hurting. I know what she did broke you and you have every right to be angry, but I also know she loves you. She loves you more than anything, more than anyone. You mean everything to her Damon, you're the most important person in the world to Bonnie."

Damon's head shot up. "If I mean everything to her, why in the _hell_ did she do this to me," he yelled angrily. "Huh? Why did she do this to me Elena? We were happy, I know we were happy. There's not a day that goes by where I don't remember how happy we were."

That was truth, he remembered everything. Everyday they spent together was seared into his brain. He couldn't forget if he wanted to.

_1 year ago_

_Damon walked through the door to his and Bonnie's house. He had a long day. He and Stefan were dealing with some werewolf packs in the surrounding areas of Mystic Falls and it was definitely not a picnic. _

"_Green eye's I'm home," he called out while taking his leather jacket off. He carefully placed it on the coat hanger next to the door and started walking through the house, trying to locate his little witch._

_This was the highlight of Damon's day and he had been waiting all day long to for this. There was no greater feeling than coming home to Bonnie. It didn't matter how his day went, he would always come home happy because he knew she would always be there waiting for him, ready to shower him with her love and affection. Yeah this was his favorite part of the day._

_The anticipation for what was coming was enough to kill him. His fingers were just itching to touch her, his lips, barely containing there need to taste her. His teeth, he didn't even want to go there. It dawned on him for about five seconds how different he is now compared to what he use to be, but that was very fleeting, he loved every second of their relationship. Every amazing, sappy, gushy, emotional second of it and he wouldn't trade her for anything._

_He could already hear her running around upstairs, he just hoped she didn't trip, fall and break something before she even made it downstairs. He laughed a little bit at that because it wasn't entirely impossible, she was the clumsiest girl he had ever met. It just made him love her that much more though, she was the cutest thing he had ever seen and she always made him laugh. One of the many reasons he loved her so much._

_Damon was lost in thought when he heard a throat clear. He located the source of the noise within seconds and that's when he saw her. He smiled instantly because per usual she was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. There she was at the top of the stairs, dressed in a purple tank top that left very little to the imagination and a pair of gray sweats that were hanging very low off of her waist. Her hair was pulled up in some crazy, messy bun on the top of her head with little tendrils of hair falling all around her face and she had a look on her face that could bring any man to his knees. He was no exception, of course._

_With his hands in the pockets of his jeans he took a couple steps closer to the bottom of the stairs. "Hey beautiful," he said adoringly._

_She was standing there with one hand on her hip and the other hand on the banister. She had one foot on top of the other and she was just standing up there, clueless to how sexy she was and without the slightest idea of the effect she had on him._

"_Hi Baby," she said lovingly with a smile on her face._

_Damon noticed she wasn't walking down the stairs yet and decided he had to hurry things along. "You know I have been waiting for this all day," he said in a husky voice. "How long are you going to torture me? Come here."_

_With her hand on the banister Bonnie started making her way down the stairs, taking one step at a time at an excruciatingly slow pace. _

"_Come here? Who do you think you are?" she asked teasingly._

_Damn she was cute._

"_Who do I think I am? Umm, the love of your life, the most handsome man you have ever seen, God's gift to you. Take your pick," he answered with all the cockiness he possessed._

_She laughed while she took one more step down the stairs; he loved it when she laughed. It was the most beautiful, care-free sound he had ever heard._

"_Well tell God he can have you back whenever he likes. I think I've pretty much used you all up," she teased as she took another step._

"_You would miss me," he said with complete confidence._

_She took another step. "Miss you?" she scoffed. "I doubt I would notice you were gone."_

"_Oh really?" he asked, a little shocked at her playfulness. "Well who would keep you warm at night?"_

"_I don't know if anyone has told you this love, but you're kind of dead, well undead, but still, you're really very cold," she taunted, taking a couple more steps. "Keeping me warm at night isn't one of your strong suits."_

_Damon took his right hand out of his pocket and placed it over his heart. "You wound me madam," he said sounding affronted. "I think my heart just broke a little bit."_

"_It did? I'm sorry baby," she apologized, with a look on her face that said she wasn't sorry at all. "I had no idea you were so sensitive."_

_She was half way down the steps at this point and Damon decided now was a good time to get her to move her ass. Donning his best puppy dog look he went in for the kill._

"_Yeah well," he started miserably. "You're really putting a wrench in my plans for the evening. I had every intention to show you how much I love you all night, but since I'm cold and all, I suppose you really don't want that. I'll just go."_

_He turned around and started to walk away and he heard her practically trip over her feet to get down the rest of the steps. Which, while he is thinking of it, there were far too many of them. He would have to pay someone to remedy that._

"_Damon!" she said much louder than necessary._

_Finally. He made a point to turn around slowly, making sure he looked like someone just ran over his dog. It broke her every time. She was standing at the foot of the stairs looking all apologetic. He decided to drop the act and put her favorite smile on his face and said "Come here beautiful," with all the love and adoration he felt for her._

_She stood there for a second, like she was contemplating her next move, then she got the most beautiful smile on her face and that was it. She started running toward him, running like she was trying to win a race and he was the finish line. This was what he had been waiting for. Everything that happened that day, everything that happened to him in the entirety of his existence was worth it for this, this most precious of moments. _

_He didn't have to wait long, before he knew it she was jumping into his waiting arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. He caught her with ease, like he always did. Dropping her was not something he was willing to let happen. Precious cargo and all that. _

_He placed his hands under her butt and hiked her up a bit so she fit more comfortably in his arms. This was the moment; everything leading up to this, he would do it all over again to have her in his arms like this. When she finally lifted her head from the crook of his neck and looked at him with those beautiful green eyes, it was all he could do to keep his knees from buckling. _

"_God you're beautiful Bonnie," he said with reverence._

_She looked at him a little shocked at first, but soon after, she was gazing at him through hooded lids and she was trembling. Her eyes dropped to his mouth as her tongue peeked out from between her lips, wetting them slightly. He could feel her blood pumping a little bit faster throughout her body; she was practically vibrating in his arms. He didn't know how much more of this he could handle, but he was going to let her take the reigns on this one. He would follow her lead, wherever it might take them. _

_She must have been thinking the same thing because she was looking at him like she was expecting him to make the first move. After a staring contest that took way to long for his liking, she must have finally realized that he was giving her the control because she kissed him...hard, passionately, like her life was depending on that one kiss and he could swear the world stopped. His senses were in overdrive and his body was on fire. Her lips were soft, so soft and warm and tasted like cherry; absolutely the most delicious thing he had ever tasted. Her hands were playing in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling and tugging, sending shockwaves throughout his entire body._

_Damon ran his tongue along Bonnie's lips silently asking for an invitation. She opened her mouth without hesitation, letting his tongue slip inside her mouth, starting a whole other battle for dominance. His tongue massaged hers with fervor. He treated her tongue like it was his life's nectar, memorizing every detail. He bit her a little too hard and a tiny drop of blood landed on his tongue and he thought he was in heaven. He loved the taste of her blood; it was like ambrosia, the sweetest thing he had ever tasted._

_She was the first to pull away, probably due to the fact that she actually had to breathe, he forgot about that sometimes. She rested her forehead against his, breathing heavily. He had no reason to breathe at all, but after a kiss like that it was an automatic response. She pulled her head back and gasped. He looked at her trying to figure out what was wrong. She was just staring at him, eyes so filled with lust he had trouble concentrating._

"_What?" he asked a little worried. "What is it?"_

_He didn't need her to answer because as soon as he spoke he could feel it. He had vamped out and hadn't even realized it. This was a new one. He always tried to keep his vamp in check around Bonnie, not that she minded if the look on her face was any indication, but he didn't want her to think that being a vampire ruled his life. _

"_Sorry," he said apologetically as he started to change his face back._

"_Don't!" she said suddenly._

_He stopped changing instantly; his eyes were wide and questioning. He wondered why she wanted him to stop. He didn't think he could be very attractive, all veins and black eyes. She placed her hand on the back of his neck and pulled him closer, all the while craning her neck to one side exposing that most precious vein. _

_This was most certainly not the first time this had happened, but it was still very important to Damon that he take extra care not to hurt her. He always wanted this to be as enjoyable for Bonnie as it could be. He looked at her one last time, asking for permission he had to have before he would continue. She nodded her head slightly giving him his reassurance and that was all he needed._

_With her legs still wrapped firmly around his waist he walked them over to the nearest wall for extra support. With his right hand he lovingly grabbed her behind her head and held her like she was the most precious thing in the world, because she was and what he was about to do was something he didn't take lightly. He brought his mouth to her neck, kissing and sucking at her jugular before he finally sank his teeth into her._

_Damon's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he sucked her most precious life's blood into his mouth, down his throat. Bonnie's head flew back so fast, he was glad he had his hand behind her head or she might have hurt herself. She was breathing heavily, swallowing hard and making the sexiest noises he had ever heard. All of this combined made her blood flow that much easier and he drank it down greedily, like this was his last meal. _

_He pushed her harder against the wall, bringing certain parts of their bodies much closer. Bonnie wasn't helping matters much, she was grinding against him in the most delicious way, her hands were all over the place; in his hair, under his shirt, clawing at his back. If he wasn't already technically dead, he thought she might kill him._

"_Damon," she moaned his name into his ear and that was the sexiest thing he had ever heard and were he a lesser man, he might have come in his pants. As it was he was barely keeping it together, his pants were unbearably tight. It was all he could do to not rip their clothes off and enter her right there. He restrained himself though because he knew that would be over before it began. He prided himself on being a fantastic lover and Bonnie deserved nothing less. He would let her grind her way to her orgasm, drinking her blood was orgasm enough for him._

_He knew she was close; she was grinding against him so hard he started believing he might actually have an orgasm himself. This was good, so good, too good; grinding, moaning, clawing, blood, Bonnie, blood, Bonnie's blood. He couldn't handle it, it was all too much. He was going to come, come in his jeans like a fucking teenager and he didn't give a shit. This woman was perfect, he loved her more than anything and she was going to make him come in his jeans. _

_He forced himself to stop drinking her blood because he probably already took too much and she was going to feel it after they were done. He would apologize later though because she was doing amazing things with her hips and he could only focus on one thing at time right now and Bonnie grinding against him was it. _

_He was thrusting his hips in time with hers and it created the most delicious friction in all the right places. He was kissing her all over while one hand found the soft caramel skin under her tank top and the other landed above her head on the wall._

"_Bonnie, fuck," he moaned huskily, grinding against her center. "You're killing me baby."_

"_Damon," she pleaded. "Don't stop. Please don't stop."_

_As if that were even an option, you would have to put a stake in his heart right now to get him to stop. The sensations he was feeling, the things she was doing to him; grinding, Bonnie, moaning, Bonnie, grinding, clawing, thrusting, Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie! He couldn't form a coherent thought. He couldn't think past what was transpiring between them. _

_Damon watched as Bonnie's face went flush; the top of her breasts were covered in a thin layer of sweat, as well as the skin underneath the palms of his hands on her stomach. She was breathing rapidly. She moaned Damon's name and gripped his waist with her thighs, pulling him impossibly close to her heat. She moved against him again and again, moaning and groaning. Her thighs; tighter and tighter, her breathing heavier, her moans louder. With one final turn of her hips and Damon's name on her lips she threw her head back, her back arching off the wall, her legs squeezing his waist almost painfully. She was sated. _

_Damon wasn't far behind, he could feel it starting; a violent pleasure coursed through his entire body, rocked him to his very core. With a final thrust of his hips and Bonnie's name on his lips, he came undone; convulsing, quaking, trembling in the most marvelous ways. He had probably just had one of the most amazing orgasms of his life and he did it in his pants. _

_He wasn't entirely sure he could withstand her weight and his at the moment, so he let her feet drop to the floor. They didn't move however, they were still basking in the afterglow of what they had just shared. He rested his forehead against hers and swallowed hard. _

"_Open your eyes," he said in between breaths._

_Bonnie did so automatically. She was looking right at him with nothing short of adoration in her eyes. _

"_I love you Bonnie," he said with more love in his voice than he thought he would ever feel for just one person._

"_I love you too Damon," she said those words with the same amount of love and affection he felt for her._

_In that moment, after everything, in that moment he felt sorry for all the people in the world that would never have what they have, the love they shared, the feeling of finding that one person they would spend the rest of their lives with. He felt sorry for them because he had all of those things and he wouldn't trade it for the world, wouldn't give it up without a fight. Bonnie was his and that would never change._

Present Day

"Damon." Elena said impatiently with both hands on her hips. "Damon, did you hear what I said?"

"No Elena," Damon sighed shaking his head. "I didn't hear what you said. Not that it matters, you can say whatever you want; you're not going to change my mind."

He started walking away again and this time Elena grabbed onto his arm to turn him back around. He didn't like being grabbed and it made him angry. He vamped out instantly and bared his teeth with a snarl. Elena gasped and let him go without hesitation, but she didn't back down.

"I'm not afraid of you Damon," she said with confidence, standing her ground. "I've been around vampires for a long time and you're not even the scariest one I've been around. So you can stay like that as long as you want, we're not done talking about this."

He calmed himself down and placed his fingers on his temples to try and fend off the impending headache he knew was starting.

"Elena, I'm not really sure what you're expecting from me here," he offered dejectedly. "What exactly is it that you want?"

She dropped her hands from her hips and let her shoulders slump. "I want you to talk to Bonnie," she said sullenly. "At least listen to what she has to say. The only time you were happy was when you were with Bonnie and it's the same for her. You are both miserable and you're making the rest of us miserable and I for one am tired of being miserable. You two are my dearest friends and I love you both very much. I just want you both to be happy again."

Damon could tell that she was emotionally drained. He didn't realize how much this was really affecting her. How much it was affecting all of them. He decided to stop being stubborn and throw in the towel.

"When is she going to get here?" Damon asked, sighing deeply.

Elena's eyes shot open and she got a big smile on her face. "She should be here any minute," she said practically bursting with excitement.

"Elena don't get you're hopes up okay," he said pointedly. "I'll listen to what she has to say, but that doesn't mean it is going to change anything. Besides I can't imagine what excuse she could possibly have that would make me want to forgive her."

"No one is asking you to forgive her Damon," she assured him. "I'm not expecting anything. I just want you two to have an actual conversation and get some things out in the open."

Damon sensed her before he smelled her and he smelled her before he heard her. He sighed heavily and ran his hand across his forehead. He wasn't ready for this to happen, but he knew it had to happen sometime and it might as well be today.

They both heard the door open at the same time. Elena went to greet Bonnie when she came into the house, Damon stayed rooted to his spot, waiting for the inevitable. The moment she walked through the doorway looking just as breathtakingly beautiful as she always did. He'll want to buckle, crumble under her penetrating stare and give her whatever she wants, he won't though. He steeled his resolve and waited, praying to God he could stay strong.

When she entered the room she didn't disappoint. She was absolutely gorgeous in her blood red peasant top that hung off her shoulders and clung to all her curves, dark blue skinny jeans that hugged her in all the right places and black leather boots that stopped right below her knees. He hair was in its natural state, slightly curled, flowing down past her shoulders, framing her face perfectly.

_Jesus Damon, get control of yourself. _He checked his resolve one last time and walked over to her.

She was fidgetting, God she was cute when she was nervous. _Stop it, Damon. You'll never make it through this if you can't man up._

"Hello Bonnie," he said giving away nothing of his inner turmoil.

"Hi Damon," she said anxiously, biting at her bottom lip.

_Concentrate Damon._

"You have five minutes," he said turning away from her, walking further into the room.

"I'll take what I can get," she sighed happily, following behind him. She would finally get to explain herself. She just hoped he wouldn't hate her more than he already does.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here is the big chapter. I hope it doesn't confuse you guys too much. Also shout out to my wifey Juggalettemissa. I love you! Any who, I hope you guys enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

Bonnie's POV

Present Day

"Well I'm going to go so you two can have some privacy," Elena said in the midst of putting on her jacket.

"You don't have to leave, I mean this is your house," Bonnie said laughing nervously. She was honestly a little afraid of being alone with Damon. Not afraid in the sense that he would hurt her or anything because she is a witch so she can take care of herself, but this would be the first time her and Damon would be alone and she had no idea how to act around him.

"Oh no, it's fine. Stefan is waiting for me at the Grille anyway. So I'll see you guys later." When Elena said that, she had a smile on her face that could rival the Cheshire cat.

Bonnie swallowed hard as she watched Elena walk out the door. This was it, no turning back now. She followed Damon further into the room. He was dressed in his usual attire; a black leather jacket she assumed was new because she'd never seen it before, a plain black t-shirt that fit him like a glove, a pair of dark-wash jeans being held in place with a plain black belt and of course, to finish off the look a pair of shiny black boots. She had no idea how she was suppose to concentrate long enough to actually get out what she came here to say. The man was a God; walking, talking, sarcasm oozing from every pore, sex on two legs. Every fiber in her body wanted to walk over to him, grab his face and kiss the shit out of him, but she had a pretty good idea of how that would turn out; not pretty.

She thought she should wait for him to take a seat before she sat down. She didn't want to get her wires crossed and sit too close to him or anything. She wanted him to be as comfortable as he could be given the circumstances. He didn't sit down however; instead he just walked over to where they kept the alcohol and poured himself a glass of what she could guess was bourbon. She was standing behind him, watching, waiting; he sighed deeply, very deeply and drank the entire contents of the glass in one big drink.

"Are you going to sit down?" she asked nervously, almost afraid to say anything. She didn't know the right way to act around him, if there even was a right way. What was the proper etiquette when you were about to explain to the man you love more than anything why you cheated on him?

Damon turned around to face her, the scowl on his face speaking volumes. "No," he replied harshly. "I'm not and you have 4 minutes and 30 seconds, so I'd get on with it if I were you."

Well he wasn't going to make this easy for her, not that she expected him to. After what she did to him, the pain she caused him, she's surprised he is even bothering to talk to her at all. She knew if things were different and their roles were reversed she probably would never have forgiven him, let alone given him the chance to explain himself.

He was standing by the fire now, arms crossed over his chest, looking every bit as angry as she suspected he was. The fire crackling beside him doing nothing to alleviate how menacing he looked standing there, if anything it just made him appear even more dangerous.

"Okay well, I'm going to sit down," she said taking the seat farthest from him. She took a very deep breath, deciding it was best to just dive right into why she was here. "Before I get into why I did what I did…" she began, but was cut off abruptly. "Why you cheated on me, you mean?" he interrupted. "Yes." she answered slowly, no point in skirting around the truth. "I just want you to know that I don't expect anything after this. I don't have any false hopes. I just wanted you to know that." Silence. "Okay well, I suppose I'll start from the beginning then."

_8 months ago_

_Bonnie was curled up on one of the many sofa's at the Boarding House, skimming through a magazine she had just bought at the store when she and Elena went on a snack run. She had been spending the past few days with Elena because Damon and Stefan were gone for the week. They were on Stefan's little crusade to bring peace between the vampires and werewolves in mystic falls and the surrounding areas. Bonnie commended Stefan on his efforts because she knew he was trying to do a good thing, but it didn't mean she couldn't also hate him for taking Damon away for so long._

_When they were told Stefan and Damon were going to be gone for so long they decided Bonnie would stay with Elena, so they wouldn't be alone. A week was a long time to be without the one you love and they were making the most of it._

_Bonnie was fully engrossed in an article about one of her favorite celebrities when Elena walked into the room and plopped down next to her with a dreamy look on her face. Bonnie smiled, rolled her eyes and put her magazine down knowing Elena wanted to talk about something. "Bonnie, can I tell you something?" she asked anxiously. "Of course," Bonnie answered. "You know you can tell me anything." Bonnie turned to face her on the couch so Elena knew she had her full attention._

"_You have to promise you won't tell anyone, not even Damon." She said with wide eyes, looking like Bonnie's decision would make or break her. Bonnie really hated keeping things from Damon. It made her feel like she was lying to him, but Elena was her best friend and as long as whatever she was going to tell her wasn't going to hurt anyone, she would keep it to herself. "I promise I won't tell anyone." She said trying to reassure her best friend. "Not even Damon!" Elena said pressing the issue. "Not even Damon." She said, telling her friend what she needed to hear. "I'm going to tell Stefan I want to be a vampire." Elena said quickly. _

_Bonnie's eyes were as wide as saucers and her mouth could catch a fly. She could say with absolute certainty that she was not expecting that. She was stunned; she had no idea what to say. She knew that the issue would have to come up eventually; she just wasn't ready for it to come up now. _

_Elena was staring at her expectantly so she knew had to say something, but what? She was speechless; she wasn't sure what the right thing to say was at the moment. She decided to go with the first thing that came to mind. "When?" she asked, knowing that she was coming up short in the supportive best friend department. Elena looked taken aback by the question, apparently that wasn't the response she was expecting. "Umm, on our anniversary." She replied. "Your anniversary? Well that's not for at least a…" Bonnie was trying to remember what month it was. She remembered. "A month!" She said raising her voice. "You're going to tell him in a month? Why in a month? Why can't you wait until your next anniversary or something? Why do you have to tell him in a month?" Bonnie asked in hysterics. She couldn't handle all the emotions that hit her all at once. This was big…really big. She was honest to goodness upset about this and she wasn't even entirely sure why. This was huge though, this wasn't Elena going away on a trip for six months, this was Elena becoming a vampire, and this was Elena dying; dying and being reborn into something that was technically an affront to God. Not that the whole affronting God thing really mattered to her, but still this was just…a really big deal._

_Elena was still sitting on the couch, with a stunned look on her face. "Bonnie, why are you acting like this?" Elena asked. "Because this is huge Elena! This is you becoming a vampire!" She answered without hesitation. "Yeah, but Bonnie, we always knew this would happen eventually. It was only a matter of when." _

"Bonnie, what the fuck does any of this have to do with you cheating on me?" Damon interrupted abruptly. "Everything." She said with conviction. "Just listen, Okay? Please?" She pleaded.

Damon was still standing in the same position he was in when she started; by the fire with his arms crossed and a look on his face that could commit mass murder. He stared at her for a moment, thinking, Bonnie was afraid he was going to tell her to leave, but finally, after what felt like an eternity he said with a roll of his eyes and a sigh, "Fine, I'm listening."

_That's exactly what Bonnie was telling herself. So why was this bothering her so much? She had no idea, but she did decide she wasn't being a very supportive friend, which is obviously what Elena was hoping to gain from telling Bonnie this little tid bit of information. She sighed deeply, calmed herself and sat back down beside her best friend. _

_She took Elena's hands in her own and gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm just worried about you is all. I mean this is big Elena. Really big," she said. "I know Bonnie, but I also know that this is what I want. I want to be with Stefan forever and if becoming a vampire is how I have to do it, then that's what I am going to do." She said passionately and with complete certainty. _

_Now Bonnie knew why this was bothering her so much. That is exactly how she felt about Damon. She wanted to be with him forever, but this decision wasn't as easy for her as it was for Elena. Bonnie had something to lose in choosing to become a vampire; her powers. She would have to choose between the two things she loved most in life. How could she ever possibly choose between the love of her life and the thing that made her who she was?_

"_Bonnie are okay?" Elena asked, concern lacing her voice. Bonnie shook herself inwardly, bringing herself out of her reverie. "Yeah I'm fine, why?" She asked, wondering why her friend was suddenly so concerned for her. Elena's eyebrows rose instantly, the concern on her face only becoming more evident. "Because you're crying." She said like it was obvious. _

_Shocked, Bonnie wiped at her cheek to see if what Elena said was true. She looked at her finger and seen what she already knew would be there. Elena wasn't lying; she had tears falling down her cheeks. She furiously wiped at her face, trying to rid herself of the offending things. She was so embarrassed, she couldn't believe she had been crying in front of Elena and hadn't even realized it. _

"_I'm so sorry Elena; I can't believe that just happened." This time it was Elena who took Bonnie's hands in hers. "It's okay," she said reassuringly. "I just want to know what's wrong because this can't just be about me turning into a vampire. So what is it?"_

_Bonnie sighed, knowing she should tell her. "It's about me becoming a vampire," she replied honestly. "You becoming a vampire? Won't you lose your powers if you do that?" Asking the obvious question. "Yes. If I become a vampire, I lose everything that makes me who I am. If I stay human, I'll eventually lose Damon, the one thing I love more than anything in the world." _

_Bonnie was crying again and this time she knew it. Elena scooted closer and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her into a hug meant for comfort, only it just made her cry harder. "Bonnie, you don't know that you will lose Damon. He loves you more than anything. You would literally have to break his heart before he left you and even then I can't imagine he would stay away for long," she said with a laugh._

"_Yeah, but what about when I get older. Technically I am already two years older than him. If I don't turn into a vampire I am going to just keep aging and he is going to look twenty-three for the rest of…well forever," she said still crying. "Bonnie, honey, technically Damon is over a hundred years old, hell he is pushing two hundred. So you will never be older than him…" she started lightheartedly. "But I get what you're saying. That's the exact same reason I decided to let Stefan change me. We keep getting older and they don't. I'm just sorry you have more to lose than I do. I can't imagine what you're going through."_

_Bonnie couldn't imagine what she was going through either. Her soul felt like it was being torn into two pieces; Damon and magic. To put the icing on the cake; she never wanted to become a vampire to begin with. She was a witch. She was supposed to protect the world from vampires, not become one, but not becoming a vampire meant eventually losing Damon. Maybe not today or tomorrow or even ten years from now, but eventually he would want someone that looked as young as he was. How would he look being twenty-three walking around hand-in-hand with a forty or fifty year old woman? _

_She knew he loved her unconditionally and he probably always would, but it still didn't help the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach telling her that one day he would walk away from her and leave her in the most agonizingly, heart-broken state. She didn't think she would be able to handle something like that happening._

"Stop…just stop," Damon interrupted, with a very annoyed look on his face. "I still have no idea what this has to do with you cheating on me, but I do know that this is the biggest crock of shit I have ever heard."

Bonnie pushed her self up off the couch and angrily stalked over to Damon. "Excuse me? Why is what I'm telling you a crock of shit?"

Damon looked around the room and noticed the lights started to flicker. She could practically see him reign in his temper to try and defuse the situation. He didn't want a fight anymore than she did. "Bonnie, I never once asked you to become a vampire and I never would have," he replied as calmly as he could.

Bonnie didn't believe him. She knew it would have come up eventually, no matter what he said. "Damon please, spare me okay. We both know you would have asked me sooner or later. It was just a matter of when," she said with complete certainty.

Damon shook his head, laughing half-heartedly. "Then you don't know me as well as you think you do, because I would have never asked you to become a vampire…never," he said solemnly.

Bonnie stepped a little closer to Damon. She wanted to be sure he heard what she said next loud and clear. "I don't believe you. How could you not want to spend eternity with the person you're supposed to love more than anything?"

Damon was angry now, she could tell. His eyes went wide and he closed the gap between them. His face was mere inches away from Bonnie's, he was so close she could feel his breath on her face and he was breathing heavily, trying to contain his anger. "Because I loved you more than anything Bonnie!" He said loudly. "I still love you more than anything. I have never loved _anyone_ as much as I love you and I would have done anything for you, including never asking you to become a fucking vampire."

Bonnie was stunned, she couldn't believe he just said that he still loved her. Maybe there was still hope after all. Maybe she could get Damon back and they could be happy again.

Damon took a few steps back, putting space between them. "You can wipe that look on your face. Just because I said I still love you, it doesn't change anything," he started, the saddest look she had ever seen gracing his beautiful face and she couldn't help it. She started to cry. "You broke my heart Bonnie, in a way no body else ever could. You might as well have put a stake through my heart because that's how this feels. I feel like I'm dying, slowly, painfully and the saddest part is, I love you more and more everyday. I can't shake you, every time I smell something it reminds me of you, every time I walk into a room I see your face, you're everywhere. I can't get rid of you; you're like a ghost that's haunting me."

Hearing him say all those things literally broke her. How could she have caused him this much pain? The man she loves more than anything and she shattered his heart into a million tiny pieces. "Damon…I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," she said reaching for him. "I wish I could take it back. I would give anything; do anything to take it back."

Damon pulled his arm out of her grasp roughly. "Well you can't Bonnie. What you did is done and there is no taking it back. Just like there's no you and me…ever…again."

She reached for him again. She was holding onto a shred of hope that maybe he would change his mind. Hoping that the love he still had for her would keep him from walking out of her life for good. "Damon…please don't say that. Please. I can't…I can't take it. How am I supposed to live in a world without you? I can't be without you Damon." Her tears fell freely now, she could barely keep herself upright.

Damon grabbed her hand gently and removed it from his arm slowly. She let her arm fall, sobbing a little harder. He never liked to see her cry. It was a weakness, which is why she figured he was being so gentle with her now. "Bonnie, you didn't come here for this. You came here for a reason and I've interrupted you twice. Why don't you finish telling me what you came here to tell me? I won't interrupt you this time, I promise."

Bonnie didn't know if she could keep herself from crying long enough to finish telling him, but he was right, she came here for a reason. She probably wouldn't get another shot at this so she had to suck it up and get through it. She knew she wouldn't be able to stop crying, but she could control how much she cried. She dried her eyes as much as she could and wiped her nose on her sleeve. "You're right,' she said between sniffles. "I came here with a purpose and even though it seems pointless now, I am going to finish what I started." She sat back down, she didn't think she had the strength to hold herself up and this time instead of standing by the fire looking like he was ready to kill someone, Damon sat down in the chair opposite her looking every bit as sad as she felt.

"_Hey, I have an idea," Elena said with a new sense of purpose. "Let's go to the Mystic Grille and get drunk."_

_Bonnie wasn't so sure getting drunk was the best idea, but she also didn't give a crap about good ideas right now. "That sounds like a damn good idea." She got off the couch, feeling slightly empowered. "Screw vampires and boyfriends and vampire boyfriends." Elena got up off the couch too and shouted "Yeah!" "Screw living and dying." Bonnie continued, getting excited. "Yeah!" Elena shouted again. "Screw magic and the supernatural. Screw it all! Lets go get drunk!" She said practically yelling. "Hell Yeah!" Elena shouted one last time. _

_Bonnie and Elena both burst out laughing. They were feeling better already. They didn't even care how they looked; this wasn't about looking nice this was about two best friends with a whole world of problems, trying to forget about all their problems. At least for one night and then tomorrow, they could go back to all the worrying that came along with their lives. They grabbed their jackets, got in Bonnie's car and headed to the Mystic Grille._

_When they got to the Grille is was kind of dead. It was a weeknight so that didn't really surprise them and seeing how they weren't really in the mood for all kinds of company, it didn't bother them either. "You grab us a table and I'll get us some drinks," suggested Elena. "Yeah okay, just umm, get me whatever you're having. Oh and uh…make whatever it is a double," Bonnie said seriously. Elena laughed and while walking away said, "You got it."_

_While Elena grabbed the drinks, Bonnie went to find a table. Not that it was that hard to find one, seeing as how the place was practically empty. She grabbed one that was closer to the bar-she wanted to be able to get new drinks fast-and took a seat waiting for Elena. "Hey, it looks like I wasn't the only one that decided they needed a drink tonight." _

_Bonnie knew that voice from anywhere. "Hey Tyler, how's it going?" She asked politely. He wasn't on her top ten lists of people she wanted to run into, but she didn't hate the guy either. "Not too bad. So are you here alone?" He asked. She really hoped he wasn't going to ask to join her. She and Tyler were never particularly close to begin with, but ever since he and Caroline broke-up a few years ago they barely said two words to one another outside of the usual hi and bye. Not to mention Damon practically hated the guy. "Umm no, I'm here with Elena. She's getting our drinks," she said, hoping he would leave. _

"_Oh that's cool. So are you having a girl's night out or is there room for one more?" He asked, obviously hoping she would invite him to join them. "Well actually…," she started. "Of course you can join us," Elena interrupted. "There's always room for one more, right Bonnie?" She asked. If looks could kill, Elena would be dead right now. Well technically Bonnie's looks could kill, but even though she wasn't very happy with Elena at the moment, it didn't mean she really wanted her best friend dead. As it was, she just sighed, put a smile on her face and said, "Of course, there's always room for one more."_

**A/N: So I know you guys might not like where I ended this, but I just really felt like that was a good place to stop. Also I am going to try to get my updates out a little faster from now on. Until next time!**


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